I recently saw a comment about how dads in blogdom frequently don’t focus there blogs as much on family life as mom blogs.
I would say, on average, this is true - though there are some exceptions.
The implication is that the difference is negative, at least in terms of the commenter’s reading preferences. In terms of reading preferences, this can be fair. Beyond that, I think not.
Dad’s blogs are not nearly as focused internally on the family as are mother’s blogs and there is a reason for this. It has to do with the roles that dad’s play in the family. Specifically, fathers teach children how to interact with the broader world, the harsh world. It traditionally has been that the mother tends to adopt a more nurturing role while the father provided a buffer between the hardness of the outside world and the gentle and loving embrace of the family. To a substantial extent this remains in intact families. Part of a father’s role morphs from creating and protecting the space for this family in the world into teaching his children about how to engage with this frequently hard and sometimes hostile world.
Of course there is tremendous overlap in roles. Of course fathers nurture and mothers buffer. Of course fathers show tenderness and mothers protect. Of course fathers represent mercy and mothers justice. But in general, the father is associated with protecting, buffering, and justice. The mother is associated with nurturing, tenderness, and mercy. In general when a child is hurt or in trouble, he or she will cry for their mother. Has anyone also noticed that a child in trouble will sometimes ask a mother to not tell a father? That is because fathers represent justice while mothers represent mercy. Together they teach their children about these aspects of God. This is good, not bad.
This division is not arbitrary, but suits the difference between men and women. Men are problem solvers; it is in our nature to be goal oriented. It is not that women are not, but this tends to be more salient for men. Women are more relationship oriented. It is not that men are not, but this tends to be more salient for women. These differences are good and worthy of celebration. Of course, each individual needs to incorporate both aspects into their own being, but there is always a dominant mode of relating and dealing with reality.
As we approach Father’s Day we are offered a chance at reflecting on our fathers, our role as a father, and fathers in general. Let us celebrate what makes a father different from every other being in our lives or the lives of our children. Let us recognize the tremendous gift our fathers provide us and that we provide as fathers.
